Description

Every trader needs a signal.
This is yours.

The Desk $DILDO is a pixel-perfect, solid green candle figurine — here to bless your trades, absorb your losses, and silently judge your leverage plays. Perched proudly next to your monitor, it’s a daily reminder that pumps come to those who believe (and hold).

Crafted with rugged detail and zero shame, this isn’t just a desk toy. It’s a spiritual tool for the modern degenerate.

• Made of premium meme-grade materials

• Non-financial advice built into the base

• Works best next to caffeine and broken dreams

• 0% utility, 100% morale boost

Set it. Forget it. Pray it pumps.

Pros and cons

• Peak meme energy
• Might get you laid
• Excellent gift for your wrecked friends
• Might accidentally start a cult.