Gifts

Not just a candle — a lifestyle. The Large $DILDO is a high-impact, full-send prop built for meme lords, market manipulators, and the 1% of degens who survived 2022. Stick it to the side of your Ferrari, slap it on your wall, or parade it through the next crypto conference like it’s a bullish banner. This absolute unit was not made for subtlety. It’s a statement. A spiritual weapon. A chart-charged flex for those who know that real wealth comes with poor taste and great timing. Oversized for maximum degeneracy Industrial-strength suction base Weather-resistant, attention-attracting, parent-disappointing Perfect for exotic cars, TikToks, and IRL pump rituals If you’ve got the gains, flaunt the candle.

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Every trader needs a signal.This is yours. The Desk $DILDO is a pixel-perfect, solid green candle figurine — here to bless your trades, absorb your losses, and silently judge your leverage plays. Perched proudly next to your monitor, it’s a daily reminder that pumps come to those who believe (and hold). Crafted with rugged detail and zero shame, this isn’t just a desk toy. It’s a spiritual tool for the modern degenerate. Made of premium meme-grade materials Non-financial advice built into the base Works best next to caffeine and broken dreams 0% utility, 100% morale boost Set it. Forget it. Pray it pumps.

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They lost it all. Give them a flame. This green candle burns, but it won’t rug. Smells like second chances (and delusion).

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Soft. Cuddly. Horny for gains. This bear’s been through the bear market and came out hugging green. The DildosRUs Teddy Bear is a perfect gift for that special crypto degen in your life — or just for you, because self-love is bullish. Ultra-plush, ultra-irreverent Rockin' a tiny DildosRUs T-shirt Not for kids. For memelords only. Every bull needs a bear to snuggle.

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Show off those thighs and your tokens. The DildosRUs swim shorts are made for cannonballs, yacht parties, and sudden rug pulls. Loud, proud, and probably inappropriate for family beaches. But hey — so is your portfolio. Quick-dry, lightweight crypto drip Mesh liner for support (where it counts) DildosRUs logo splashed like a meme coin chart Dive deep. Moon harder.

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The floor is lava. Your socks shouldn’t be. These high-comfort socks feature just enough compression to support your next 12-hour charting session. Plus, they’ve got DildosRUs branding to remind you: even your toes can be degenerate. Cushioned sole. Maximum drip. One size fits most degen feet Ideal for gym bros and keyboard warriors alike Step into something bullish.

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Your gains aren’t the only thing slipping — now your feet can too, in the comfiest meme slides on-chain. Whether you’re poolside, bedside, or browsing Solana tokens on the toilet, these are the slides for certified coin flippers. Foam sole for soft landings after hard dumps Bold print. Zero shame. Pairs well with socks and bad decisions Slide into the next pump.

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Sip gains, not copium. Whether you're caffeinating before a morning chart dive or drinking the tears of paper hands, this mug gets you. This ceramic beast holds 11 ounces of pure, degen-fueled ambition. Microwave + dishwasher safe (unlike your bags) Glossy finish for maximum flex Handle sized for diamond hands Fuel up. Flip charts. Stay hard.

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This isn’t just a candle. It’s a green candle — and it smells like victory, unregulated finance, and maybe just a hint of hopium. Light it during market opens. Burn it when you go long. Manifest the pump, baby. Scent: Green Wick Energy Hand-poured in small degenerate batches Burns longer than your last altcoin Smells like up only.

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